I Want to Keep My Family Safe
We hope you'll take time right now to learn about the steps you can take to protect your children and the children in your community. Stop It Now!® Minnesota provides many resources to help parents keep their family safe. To be most effective, we as parents need to be knowledgeable about who sexually abuses children, learn signs of sexually inappropriate behaviors of adults and children, and take action when we see concerning behaviors towards children.
Creating a Family Safety Plan
The best way to keep your family safe is to take action long before you are concerned that a child may have been sexually abused. In all families, there are things we can do to increase protective factors—the things we do to keep our family safe. Click here for step by step instructions to Create a Family Safety Plan (.pdf) This document also lists helpful Minnesota resources. Another helpful resource is The Building Blocks for a Family Safety Plan (.pdf)
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I've Just Been Informed a Sex Offender
Has Moved Into My Neighborhood
If you have just learned that a convicted sex offender is living in your community, you might feel scared, angry, and unsafe. Now is a good opportunity to Create a Family Safety Plan (.pdf) or, if you have already created one, to revisit it. Talk about what to do if someone approaches a child sexually. Remember that although you may have a convicted sex offender living in your neighborhood, 90% of the time children are abused by someone they, and often their family, know.
If there is a Community Notification Meeting, attend to learn more about this person, their risk level, and how they will be supervised in the community. Learn about the restrictions that have been placed on this person so that if you see them doing something inappropriate you know how to report it. If you would like help hosting a community meeting for adults in your neighborhood to learn more about preventing the sexual abuse of children, contact us at stopitnowmn@projectpathfinder.org. This can be a perfect opportunity for you and your neighbors, your faith community, and/or your school or other community organizations to work together to keep kids safe.
For more detailed information on Minnesota's laws about registration and community notification, visit the Department of Corrections web site.
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Prevention Tips
If you are unsure exactly what child sexual abuse is, you're not alone. Child sexual abuse is sexual activity with a child by an adult, an adolescent, or an older child. Child Sexual Abuse includes touching and non-touching behaviors (.pdf)
Most often children are abused by someone they know and trust. Close to half of those who sexually abuse children are under the age of 18.
What Do Kids Need to Know?
If healthy sexuality seems difficult to talk about, remember that your children need your guidance for their development. Children need to be taught what is appropriate in society and in your family.
Children also need to:
- Know proper names for all body parts.
- Learn about appropriate touch—the difference between OK touch and not OK touch.
- Understand they are in control of their bodies. It is NOT OK for them to try to control someone else's body or for anyone to touch them in ways that are not OK.
- Know that touching secrets are never OK.
- Discuss family boundaries. All members of the family must respect rights to privacy in dressing, bathing, and sleeping. As a child matures, boundaries within the home may need to change as well (e.g. knock on the door before entering the room of an adolescent.)
- Understand how to say "NO" to touching and how to respond if someone tells them "NO."
- Have a plan if he or she is threatened by an adult or another child and have a safety team of good listeners to tell about the experience.
- Have adults model how to say "NO" and to learn that "NO" will be respected. (e.g. if a child does not want to give Uncle Bob a kiss, the child can shake hands or simply say goodnight.)
Most families whose kids were sexually abused wish that they had talked beforehand about what could happen when adults or older youth try to get them involved in sex and how it could be prevented. For more help on how to talk with your children about child sexual abuse, download Do Children Sexually Abuse Other Children? (.pdf) and Talking with Kids (.pdf).
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Recommended Reading For Parents:
Create a Family Safety Plan (.pdf)
The Building Blocks for a Family Safety Plan (.pdf)
Healthy Sexual Development in Children (.pdf)
Do Children Sexually Abuse Other Children (.pdf)
Sexual Behavior Warning Signs in Children or Adolescents (.pdf)
Child Sexual Abuse: Facts About Abuse and Those Who Might Commit It , a primer for adults (.pdf)
I'm worried about someone's behavior toward my child or teen.
I'm worried about a child or teen's behavior.
Talking to Kids
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